Imagine you hold the power to hold someone up, to make their day with something so small you might not even realize it.
Have you ever had a thought about someone like “Gosh, Ginny played a really good game today,” or “Jeepers, Jim did a great job on that presentation.”
Maybe you never told that person and kept it to yourself instead. Maybe you think they will think you’re odd or question your intentions.
What if you started saying those things out loud to people?
I have tried to make an effort lately that, rather than feeling like I shouldn’t compliment someone because I’m afraid of how they will take it, to just say it.
Think of the last time someone paid you a genuine compliment. Maybe it was a coworker who told you that your outfit was on fleek or a spouse who put a note in your lunch just to say they loved you.
How did that make you feel? Probably pretty great.
How can you make genuine compliments?
- Make it specific. Delivering a compliment is more genuine if you pay attention to that person. If they used a great analogy in their presentation, tell them that it was what you specifically liked about it.
- If you are giving a gift, put some thought into it. Perhaps that person did you a favour and you want to give them a small token of appreciation in return. If they love chocolate, great! But maybe it could be as simple as a handwritten thank you note.
- Go for the unexpected. Maybe the person you are complimenting is used to being commented to on their hockey skills. A compliment that is expected is not as powerful as an unexpected one. Find out something unusual about that person and express your appreciation for those qualities.
- Find something that is important to them. What is the person passionate about? Do they have any special interests or proud achievements? Praise them on a game well-played if they pitched an exceptional outing or comment on how great their outfit is today if they’re a fashionista.
- Say it with intention and meaning. Don’t just throw out a “hey, good job” in passing. Take time to express your compliment.
Have you noticed that all of the above requires an honest observation? Paying attention and providing important validation to that person is often enough to build up trust and strengthen relationships.
Never underestimate the instant effect you can have on someone.
- Think about past compliments you’ve received. Examine why were they memorable.
- Think of someone who could use a compliment or a pat on the back for a job well-done. Next time you see them – tell them!
- Leave a comment at the end about your memorable compliment experience or let us know how you applied this challenge.
Watch the instant effect on people being told they are beautiful: